Real Funny Jokes BiographySource(google.com.pk)
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...ï¿½
Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny colour.
Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.
A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.
They say he's [Yogi Berra] funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?"
Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
A man who prides himself on his ancestry is like the potato plant, the best part of which is underground
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought.
Funny in Michigan you can be a seasonal boyfriend and in the summer you can take off But in the winter you gotta be on lock.
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've died. I swear I'm aging in dog years. But no, I'm not dead. It's funny how stuff like that gets started.
What people actually think: ha = you. suck. haha = not that funny. hahaha = really funny actually. hahahaha = funniest. thing. ever!! hahahahaha = I wanna be your friend/ gf/ bf. ahahahahaha = you. suck. a. lot.
Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals saying they don't eat clowns because the taste funny.
There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.