Really Funny Dirty Jokes BiographySource(google.com.pk)
If you are lost in the woods, here is what you should do.
Take Viagra and an iron supplement. Trust it to convert you into a perfect compass.
Dean and Marie were sharing a PG accommodation. One day, Marie knocked on Dean’s door and said: “Please take off my top for me, will you?”
Dean, red faced, took off her top.
Next Marie said: “Fine, now remove my skirt?” Again Dean obliged.
Marie: “That’s good. Now take off my panties.” Dean, now really ashamed, took off her panties.
Marie looked at him sternly and said: “Don’t you ever dare put on my things again.”
A girl goes to see Doctor Jones. The doctor examines her and notices that she has a rash on her chest. As Dr. Jones examines the rash, he notices that the rash is in the shape of an "H". To his wonder, the girl tells him, "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when we make love." He prescribes some cream and sends her on her way.
After a few days, Dr. Jones is attending to another girl with a rash on her chest; only this time it is in the shape of a "S". To his amazement, she tells him a similar story, "My boyfriend attends Stanford and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when we make love." He prescribes the same treatment for this girl and sends her home.
Much to his surprise, a few days later another girl goes to his office with a rash on her chest. The doctor notices that her rash is in the shape of an "M". As she begins to explain how she got the rash, he interrupts her by saying, "Let me guess. Your boyfriend goes to Missouri and he likes to wear his varsity letter sweater when you make love."
The girl grins back and replies, "No, my girlfriend goes to Wisconsin."
Jerry came home from office at two in the afternoon as he had forgotten to carry an important file. He found his wife without a stitch on their bed.
Jerry, obviously surprised, said to her, “Brenda, what do you think you are doing lying there like that at this time of the day?”
Brenda replied, “I don’t have anything proper to wear.”
Jerry opened their cupboard and said. “What the hell………you have countless dresses, see……here’s one dress……second dress……third one…...the fourth…………"hi there Tom”………here’s the fifth……..”A yuppie is tired of the materialistic world and decides to give everything up. He joins a monastery and enjoys the peaceful life. After having spent one year at the monastery, he is approached by the Head Monk who congratulates him for completing one year and tells him that he is now allowed to go to the hills to feed the Yak. The Yuppie agrees and the next morning he is all set to go to the hills, when an old loafer tells him he is so lucky to be making it to the hills.
The Yuppie is confused and asks the old loafer what he meant.
The old loafer says that none of them had any action for a long time and up in the hills, a Yak is the closest one could get to a woman.
The Yuppie understood and started for the hills. When he returned to the monastery after a week, the Head Monk asked him how the Yaks were doing. The Yuppie did not say anything but kept smiling. The Head Monk then asked him if he had fed all the Yaks properly, The Yuppie replied that he had forgotten to feed them.
The Head Monk got emotional and burst out, "You Yuppies are all the same, screw you Yak, I am all right!"